At 16, FHM was not what you would call ‘a catch.’ Lanky, awkward, invariably wearing an aggressive Megadeth T-shirt and riddled with intense, localised acne around the mouth (to the extent that one concerned teacher asked if we were “snorting UHU at lunchtimes”). So girls, certainly, were not an option.
But how we lusted after them! The elite unit of Lolitas that were permanently stationed around the bench at the back of the English block. Laura Penton and her blossoming bust; Anna Claymoor with her breathtaking, netball-honed arse; their ginger mate who put it about with the football team.
When a 16-year-old girl knows she’s attractive, she can use that power to devastating effect. Which is exactly what Madeline Zima’s character, Mia, does in Californication. Mia uses her feminine wiles to bed David Duchovny, who doesn’t realise she’s 16. “I knew a lot of girls like her when I was 16,” she recalls, “and I was wilder than I am now by a long shot. So if I can’t relate my own experiences to her, I use people that I knew at that time who were that wild.”
Luckily, Zima is actually 23 – a long time since her first gig in a nappy advert in 1987. Yes, in the same year that Lethal Weapon came out, she was two years old. “That was also the first time I ever did nudity on TV!” laughs Zima. “It was the baby’s bare ass running into the towel – and once upon a time, that was my young ass.”
And 21 years later, after roles alongside Hulk Hogan in Mr. Nanny, and cameos in King Of The Hill and Grey’s Anatomy, Zima is still getting her ‘bare ass’ out for the cameras. Californication doesn’t shy away from nude scenes, something Zima’s perfectly happy with. “It’s a mental thing, it’s not the actual nudity that’s odd, it’s the fact that it’s being filmed,” says Zima casually. “Luckily I have the protection of feeling it’s my character doing this, so I don’t go, ‘Here I am, you know, humping…’”
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